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There was a girl I dated in high school whose name was Becky, but everyone called her "Lincoln" because all the guys took a shot at her in the balcony.
Why isn't palindrome spelled the same way backwards?
A man accidentally cut off all of his fingers with a saw. The doctor said, "Thank goodness for microsurgery. Give me the fingers, and I'll sew them back on!" The man said, "I couldn't pick them up!"
I'm a pessimistic optimist. I expect the worst - that way things can only get better.
I'm right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Ninety two percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils.
I tried to build a dog house, but I only had enough dogs to build 3 walls.
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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