Forum - Pain: Evolution, Survival, and Beyond

Pain evolved as a survival mechanism. It is usually a warning of real or impending danger to the organism. The fear of pain is two-fold: one, that we are actually or about to be harmed, perhaps permanently, and two, that the stimulus will last a very long time, that we can't easily get rid of it.

So, what if the pain stimulus is deliberately and consensually caused in a safe manner that threatens no harm to your body? What if you "know" and trust that, contrary to what you "feel", no harm is being done? What if you trust that you can stop it any time? Could you then experiment with pain play?

One of the interesting things about pain is that it can be applied sensually as a form of foreplay, and can also be applied in a calculated and heavier manner, so as to cause the body to release endorphins. In this latter use, when done in a trusting relationship, pain can lead to pleasure. Endorphins can produce a natural "high".

I agree that when it's done in a manner that's pleasing on a mutual basis in a trusting relationship that it can be very pleasurable. I myself would only trust a trusting partner/husband for life in doing pain/pleasure together.
I hope you have fun and a nice weekend too.
Hugs,
12pleaseu

I know that some people are not able to feel pain at all, genetically. Most of the researchers suppose that this is bad, not good... I can't get if they are right or wrong.

I have heard about that too on news programs a while back and it was very interesting to find that some people are not able to feel pain genetically. I wonder if the women of the study had any different reactions to pain if they had been pregnant and give birth.
Hugs To You,
12pleaseu

They believe it's bad because many people who don't feel pain at all die very early. They just kill themselves accidentally - for example jump from big heights and break their bodies mortally. The instinct of self-preservation has many disadvantages but it's a very good safety lock, like a fuse box.

And you, daka1, have you had any good experiences on this field?

I enjoy both sides of pain play. "Pain" needn't be severe. I think a good spanking, for example, leads to a stronger orgasm. People should explore spanking more as foreplay.

People interested in exploring the interplay of pleasure and pain might enjoy two videos by Cleo Dubois, founder of the Academy of SM Arts in San Francisco. They are educational, eye-opening, visually stunning, and mentally stimulating.

The Pain Game

Tie Me Up!

Isn't good spanking a severe thing just by definition?:)
Or you mean some new kind of it that is extremely slight, like tickling or massage?
Anyway thanks for good info about the films. I'll look for them.

Only if you want it to be. "Good" has many meanings. If we're talking punishment, or cathartic spanking, then it could mean severe. But if we're talking about erotic spanking, then it could have meanings along the lines of suitable, agreeable, competent, skillful, or certain to elicit a specified result. The primary arbiter here would be the subject, the spankee, since we're dealing with consensual activity.

The specific meaning will vary from person to person.

Furthermore, the meaning for the same person will vary depending on the mood, the perceived or expected purpose, the relationship to the spanker, etc.

An erotic spanking, starting gently and gradually increasing in intensity, may well result in a warm, red ass. The color might last an hour or two, or perhaps a day or two. In any case, it should be more than a gentle caress.

A hard erotic spanking, with the purpose of eliciting an endorphin rush, may well result in greater marking of the subject, including welts and bruises.

In any case, ten different people could have ten different meanings of what would be a "good" spanking to them.

I know I would love erotic spanking when I'm having sex! I have had it before and it felt very good!
Kisses&Hugs,
12pleaseu

I know that the ability to feel pain can be learned. Wheather that is good or bad I can not say. People who have grown up in abusive environments can tolerate more pain than most people. It is possible that they learn to endure more pain or that they have taught themselves to disassociate themselves from the pain. Either way I don't thing that pain is part of a sexual encounter. It is a way to dominate one person by another.

Consensual pain and consensual domination are a part of many people's sex lives.

Of course, there is also nonconsensual pain. That is abuse, and it should be dealt with through legal channels. Abusers should be jailed.

I agree that abusers should be jailed. I too have had my share of abusers when I was a lot younger....a few abusers who hurt me; but a few is more than enough for anyone. I am glad to be away from them too. A lot of things have happened in my life and I learned to forgive and go on with my life. We all have our differences in what we like and dislike in sex. Both people and/or all people have to be open and consenting adults in what they choose to do in having sex. I think that I personally would lay all the cards on the table and discuss things with my partner/partners before doing anything. That way we all know what each other's expectations are and do accordingly. I truely wish you all happiness,love, and peace!
Hugs&Kisses,
12pleaseu

who doesn't enjoy a little spanking during sex? I know I love it.

As long as it's consenting adults who agree on everything; then, it's ok. Anyone who goes against another person's wishes and abuses them is raping that person. I have gone through that before and it took a lot of healing through the years. I am a lot better now thankfully. I would say just be careful about what is comfortable and safe for you. Good sexy spankings are good when both and all people involved are agreeable with one another. I too enjoy spanking during sex as long as both myself and others are agreable. Have fun and be safe.
Hugs,
12pleaseu