2006
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To the friggin Police! How in Hells Bells did you manage to annoy escorts, parlour girls, street walkers AND the Suffolk Strangler, yet fail to keep women safe?!
Its not just the Police in East Angular as Jade Goody calls it (you see, if you are a sex worker she w be considered your intellectual equal unless you have the impertinence to prove otherwise) who are completely unwilling or unable to do anything. If a sex worker has a stalker or is being harassed, the Police are very lax about addressing what they consider an inevitable occupational hazard, but will give you a paternalistic and patronising talk about alternative career options - as though all you do is sit there in your stockings and stillettoes waiting for your phone to ring. Escorts whove had bigger problems have told me that the police told them to consider themselves lucky to only have been raped. Then, when the Police need our help, they wonder why we dont want to talk to them! One cant help but suspect that the Police, and society at large, have transmitted the idea to the Sussex Strangler and his successors that sex-workers are disposable. I had a man, a reader of this blog, send me an email about him wanting to use me for a day, pay me 300 less than my advertised fee and instructing me that I would enjoy it. I cannot see how anyone who had read this blog could think that was viable, but years of socialisation cant be counterracted with a few hundred words.
The perception of Escorts as disposable is even more visible at this time of year. There are actually idiots out there who think that there is a price they can put on me being with my family on Christmas Day, and I am far from the only person receiving such perposterous propositions. It isnt a long leap of thought from the idea that your family wont mind your absence at Christmas to thinking that nobody would care if you were murdered. I know there are lots of lonely escorts in London who wont be able to spend Christmas with their loved ones, and some are permanantly estranged from their families. Interestingly enough, those women tend to take the greatest risks with their safety and be the most exploited.
One Escort told me yesterday that she was worried that the coverage of the murders was focusing on the victims as sex objects, which I hadnt considered until I realised that yesterday the only British paper that didnt have them on the front cover was the Star, which had Cheryl Cole. Todays covers had photographs of the victims and the Star had Leona from X-Factor. Sex sells newspapers as much as it ever did, but these young women were human beings who were greater than the sum of their private parts.
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Added on: 12/13/06 06:15
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is someone to do my baking for me. No, I love baking, but my life has been so hectic that I am 10 days behind on the Cake and Pudding front and I have had so many requests from friends and family. I had thought about baking for clients, but like Charlie Chaplin said - the saddest thing in life is getting accustomed to luxury, so no, Ill give them the best stuff the supermarkets can offer.
Anyway, on the subject of luxury - I have turned down two overnight bookings over the festive period so that I can go and sun myself, and visit my Grandfathers grave. My clients are generally wonderful people who do everything they can to make my time with them as enjoyable as possible. Yesterday, a guy called me up and asked me to invite a friend of mine to join us. I got paid to have a good time with a girl and a guy! I will not pretend that this is entirely or even remotely representative of the industry as a whole - a girl my age, with the same job as me, was found dead on Saturday morning. Gemma Adams, was human being, a woman who will clearly be missed by her friends, family and her boyfriend. Her friend, Tania Nichol has been missing for a month, and people are very concerned for her, but what really worries me is the Police. How can so many women be murdered or disappear in Ipswich? According to The Times, East Anglia Police are reviewing 4 unsolved murders over the past 15 years.
Unless the Police are trained to treat sexworkers with the respect and professionalism everyone should be able to expect from them, people who mistreat and murder sexworkers will act with impunity. I have met guys who expect to be able to walk roughshod over me, and they have been rather surprised that I would stand up to them. Maybe vulnerable sexworkers should be offered assertiveness and self-defence training.
All I want for Christmas is for other women to have the safety and peace of mind I enjoy oh, and world peace.
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Added on: 12/05/06 10:14
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Friendship is one of the most precious things in the world, right up there with health and freedom, and far more important than romance. Part of the reason I insist on clients giving me notice is because the time I spend with my friends is so valuable, and I do not feel that I should short-change my friends because somebody who is so disrespectful as to believe I have nothing better to do with my life than have sex with an inconsiderate person - I mean where is the fun in that?!
When I explained to yesterdays two inconsiderates that their behaviour seemed rude and thoughtless and they agreed that they wouldnt expect anything sprung on them in their professional lives, they both said men dont think when theyre horny or words to that effect. Sadly, I wasnt born yesterday and didnt believe a word of it. Before any more of you with slightly more intellect arrange to meet me so you can tell me that you have been trying to establish whether I like men or not, just imagine the amount of rubbish that good-for-nothing individuals try to feed me about all men in a disgraceful attempt to make themselves look good. This isnt a sales ploy blog; this is my way of letting off steam and trying to stay sane.
Anyway, enough about you, lets talk about me. My friends mean the world to me, and I have a huge amount of respect for them. For the record, some of my friends are clients, it keeps life interesting to have lots of different friends. It is precisely because I have so much respect for my friends that I will stand back and let them keep making the same mistakes, offering advice, tissues and chocolate when the house of cards collapses around their ears. One of my friends has been building a house of glass and I have supported her as best I could for as long as I could, but today I betrayed her and called in the cavalry for her own safety. I feel really bad, but I am prepared to sacrifice our friendship for her wellbeing. My discretion could have led to her emotional if not physical death. She has been hospitalised once already, but wouldnt've been had I spoken out earlier and saved her from this.
Being an adult, Im not meant to believe I can save people from themselves or prisons of their own creation, but I cant resign myself to the suffering of others.
I wish I could say I felt good about what Ive done, I wish I could say I was sorry, I wish I had the energy to do something other than sleep.
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Added on: 11/28/06 10:19
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When I meet a client for the first time, Im a big bundle of questions. Some questions Ill ask directly, like Would you like a shower? and Would you like a drink?, others I dont ask explicitly, but wil answer as the meeting progresses, like the clues he gives that he is about to cum - or the lack thereof. I guess a clients lifestory and personality fall into that category too.
The problem is, that lots of clients meet me and are convinced that they know me. I had one guy try to tell me the sort of school I went to, and the age at which I lost my virginity - both of which were wrong. A worryingly high proportion of men who can and do pay for my time have an archetypal woman in their heads and want me to be version 24.0 or somesuch, when all I am is me. All I want is for you guys to have some questions when you meet me, whatever conclusions youve reached on the basis of my blog, allow yourself some doubt. Dont paint me into a corner, Im claustrophobic.
People making assumptions about me, is relatively trivial, if frustrating, but people making assumptions about whole ethnic groups is dangerous. Rather a lot of the assumptions that are made about me reflect a degree of racial or ethnic bias, which is a shame, but still trivial.
British society is the best society in the world, we have the most racially integregated society in the world, and the highest rate of mixed-race children in the world (and a very high proportion of them are born to white women with the best educashun, educashun, education in the world, hair gelled to within a micron of its life, and living in the best shabby, vandalised social housing in the world), but all is not well in our concrete-and-tarmac Garden of Eden. Equal opportunties have reached the point where members of the BME (Black and Minority Ethnic, see we got branding too!) communities are now committing racially-motivated murders and attacks too. Some judges are allegedly too politically correct to call those crimes racially motivated and our media wont give such crimes enough coverage, supposedly because they are scared that it will bolster the BNP or something. People are now going crazy because they think that BME people have as much right to be racist as anyone else and should be given the recognition they deserve. This takes me back a few years, to 1996 in fact. I was in Clapham Junction with a group of girls from school and this guy was chatting me up, well as well as he could with his limited vocabulary, but he was a cute guy, so I was pleased. His proposed deal-maker was Im gonna be on TV soon you know, I was impressed and asked him to be more specific Crimewatch he replied. That was a deal breaker, I was and still am, to much of a nerd to be impressed by criminality, and I dont see being recognised as a criminal as a source of pride. Were white people proud of the killers of Anthony Walker and Stephen Lawrence? Do white people want to be seen as a group who can kill others for having different colouring to themselves? If the answer to both these questions is no, why should anyone else behave differently in this respect?
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Added on: 11/13/06 09:06
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Why do people say women are funny about ageing? There are a few men whom I have been seeing for more than a year who have not had a birthday, but seem perefctly human. These are people I have a fair amount of intimacy with, so I wouldnt be hurt if they didnt invite me to their parties, but Im surprised they havent mentioned a birthday - ever.
As always, theres always one who gets the rest into trouble and Im baking a cake for his forthcoming birthday, and hes bringing the booze. Getting older really does have its rewards!
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Added on: 10/20/06 08:54
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I had a call from a potential client last week when I was baking a cake. He wasnt very interesting, well nowhere near interesting enough to get me away from my cake. Then he decided to prove that he wasnt very clever either by telling me that I didnt look like the cake-baking type. I was furious, but I figured I should allow him to dig his own grave and asked him what women who baked cakes looked like. He explained that they looked like homely, country-women, not cosmopolitan women like me. I reminded him of the ethno-specificity of his idea of country-womanhood and told him that his notion couldnt help but exclude me on racial grounds. He couldnt deny that, coming as he did from an uneducated background.
It is unfair that pretty girls arent expected to be able to cook, bake, change a tyre or even construct a sentence. Hey, ugly women are even allowed to become beautiful swans with the right clothing and make-up! Men love to cause trouble by blaming women for being bitchy to each other, but too often they are the biggest stirrers of the lot.
Anyway, back to the cake. I am perfectly happy to share my cakes with NICE people. I dont think that a man eating a cake baked by another woman constitutes infidelity. The cruellest betrayal is when a man eats a cake baked by another woman and states publically that her cake is better than his wifes cake. That is cruel, nasty and unnecessary. It may seem a bit strange, but I felt much worse about a friend of mine saying that than I do about seeing married men.
I know its perverse, but the moral of the story is that if a woman parts with her cake, whether its to answer the phone or as a gesture of friendship, it brings pain.
Let me eat Cake!
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Added on: 09/28/06 08:45
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I am not prone to excessive guilt, but sometimes I cant help but feel guilty. This week I spent an afternoon with an escort who was covered in bruises because a client had been very rough with her. Shes slim, but not skinny, so she doesnt bruise from someone just brushing against her - which is occurs frequently with Anorexics, for example. She described the clients roughness to me and her fear that complaining to him would make him cause trouble for her, she was scared that complaining to her agency would mark her out as a troublemaker and get her less work.
I cannot even begin to describe how angry that makes me, nor could I even begin to describe what I would do so such a despicable creature, but believe me, he would curse the very stone from under which he slithered. That is precisely my point. It is because men know that I will not stand for any rubbish, they tend not to try it on with me, they mistreat the weak. The problem is that escorts like me, who are expressive and confident can give a certain impression of this industry, one in which the weak and vulnerable, cower silently in the background. Broadsides from the moral majority are correctly rebuffed by people like me, and my clients, but I feel that even that can provide cover for the vermin who attack and mistreat women.
Im not talking about the clumsy, who dont mean to cause pain, but whose technique is agonising, and trying to correct it is an exercise in delicate diplomacy.
I cant think of anything I can do to help that poor bruised escort, she has no choice but to stay here and work for as long as she can and deal with her mistreatment as best she can. My inability to change this proves that as strong as I think I am, I too, am weak.
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Added on: 08/17/06 07:26
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Ive had a pretty hectic day, but its been productive. I was walking down the road earlier with my mind on other things and two guys walked up to me and said we can see your nipples! I cringed, but I had on a jumper and a bra, so I thought they had to be joking, I told them that they were mistaken. No. Theyre well hard love! was their response, which embarassed me even more, because the last thing I wanted to be doing was discussing my nipples with a pair of strangers on a busy road in the middle of London.
If I were in escort mode, I would have cringed, but being in geeky mode made it absolutely horrifying. All I wanted to be was my brain, not my body. Generally, I can cope with the two aspects of my life and it helps stop me from becoming vain, but sometimes I feel trapped in a body that doesnt suit me, that makes people respond to me in ways I dont like. At times like that, I wish I was invisible, just a voice, only a sound, but often silence.
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Added on: 05/08/06 05:41
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Yesterday morning, when I was in the shower, I got a phonecall from the client who was the subject of my earlier blog. He reinstated the booking, I raced to the airport and hopped on a plane, now I'm here. He's a really nice guy, but he'd been really nervous about this whole thing going well, especially as this is his first such booking, and little hiccups that escorts adjust to seemed terrifying to him. He has been very calm and sweet since I got here, although he was wrong about the taxidrivers here not being like Mr Bean.
The crazy thing is that he looks a lot like a tutor I had the craziest crush on when I was at University, and he has an amazing record and CD collection. The weather isn't as good as I had hoped, but it's turned out well.
The whole girlfriend experience thing, isn't meant to include falling out with a nervous man and struggling with language difficulties, but sometimes it does, and the making up has been fun. He is also the first client to cook for me, and it was wonderful. I've baked in clients homes, yes I did bring the ingredients, so it's not that I'm asking for things I wouldn't offer clients. My key question now, is how closely can bookings simulate relationships, or flings, and do we want them to?
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Added on: 04/28/06 03:56
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A potential client emailed me a week ago about me coming over to visit him in another European capital for 12 hours, then he wanted the option of extending the booking to 24 hours. I sent him the details so he could transfer the money via Western Union and he sent 1/3 of the fee as a deposit. I was all set to go and meet this guy and turned downed bookings because I would be unavailable.
We sent a few more emails, and he gave me his address, without a postcode, and told me to take a Taxi to his home. I explained that if this were absolutely necessary, I would, but that I would much rather that he came to meet me as I would have spent hours on a plane for no other reason than to meet him. I explained that to me, him meeting me at the airport would be more important than anything else he could do, and that collecting me was the most polite thing he could do under the circumstances. He proceeded to complain about the hour it would take him to travel to the airport and the hour it would take for him to get back from the airport with me, and the 40‚¬ or 50‚¬ each way in a taxi. The final bit set the alarm bells in my head ringing - why would anyone paying for a 24hour booking complain about an extra 40‚¬ or 50‚¬?
I asked him to try his best to meet me at the airport, and said that if he couldnt meet me, I would take a taxi, but he decided to cancel the booking. I am disappointed, he seemed like such a nice man, but this is his loss. If a man is so inconsiderate as to begrudge such a small gesture to make me feel comfortable after a flight, he doesnt deserve 24 hours of my time. No amount of money can replace manners.
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Added on: 04/26/06 16:29
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In a few months time, I'll be 25, and then I'll be 'a proper grown up', also known as 'big people'.
I am becoming big people in other important ways now though, like a set of things that they call 'bills'. I am very lazy, and hate the thought of standing up in the bank, or hanging on a phoneline to pay bills, so I took the direct debit option. Powergen decided that they would only organise estimates of my electricity bills, and that these estimates would be based on the Blackpool Illuminations, or some Illuminati plot to impoverish me. The City of Westminster did a similar thing with my Council Tax. When I had my 'little people' way of thinking, I just thought it was unfair. Then I went into 'big person mode' and have recovered 770.
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Added on: 04/19/06 09:11
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At first we started out real cool
Promising me services I had never seen
But now, you're getting comfortable
Ain't doing those things you said no more
You're slowly making me pay for things
And then you said we'd go to court (court)
Even though you took all my money out the bank
And you have the audacity
To even come and step to me
Ask to hold some money from me
Until you get my refund demand
You triflin', good for nothing type of brother
Silly me, why haven't I found another?
An electricity company,
for when Powergen take all my dough
I need someone to help prove Blackpool illuminations aint in my flat
Instead of a thief like you in the damned council tax department
{Chrous:}
How did you generate my electricity bills?
Did you record me querying my council tax bills?
Can you remember me paying my light bills?
Do you even gimme a thing for these damned bills?
If you did then maybe we could chill
I don't think you do
So, you and me are through
How did you generate my electricity bills?
Did you record me querying my council tax bills?
Can you remember me paying my light bills?
Do you even gimme a thing for these damned bills?
If you did then maybe we could chill
I don't think you do
So, you and me are through
{Verse 2 :}
Now you've been draining my account (count)
Taking the piss with the huge direct debits,
Then you tell me, that I did not pay your bill
That we're all bopping to the courthouse
And that the baliff's taking over your thieving
There is no point me complaining
And then you say I have to pay for your lawyer
When it's you, not me that's the debtor
And then when all my faxes come
All of a sudden you be acting dumb
You suddenly forget how to read, then delay my goddamned rebate
I would really love to strangle you all, but I have to resist the bait
{:}
You triflin', good for nothing type of brother
Silly me, why haven't I found another?
An electricity company,
for when Powergen take all my dough
I need someone to help prove Blackpool illuminations aint in my flat
Instead of a thief like you in the damned council tax department
{Repeat Chorus}
{Bridge}
You triflin', good for nothing type of brother
Oh silly me, why haven't I found another
You triflin', good for nothing type of brother
Oh silly me, why haven't I found another
You triflin', good for nothing type of brother
Oh silly me, why haven't I found another
You triflin', good for nothing type of brother
Oh silly me, why haven't I found another
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Added on: 04/11/06 08:58
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This week I am filled with longing, toe-twitchingly intense are we nearly there yet? longing. Is it a bloke? Please! Its a wonderful little treat from myself to myself. Four whole days of being spoilt and doing what I want to do, but not yet. Not until Thursday evening.
Its ok, I can wait. Calmly, and patiently. Yes, I WANT IT NOW!!! But I can wait. YES I CAN!!! And I will. Ill have a nice cup of tea to calm me down. I wont look at the website, filled with longing and yearning, or sigh. I wont cast a lustful gaze down the bulging length of the list of treatments available. I will wait!
Clients are great at the moment, they give me somthing else to think about, to enjoy. Oh, and Ive got a wedding to go to on Thursday. Ive just had a text message.
Ill let you know more
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Added on: 04/10/06 06:39
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People find it strange that I believe in God. I am not going to sell you God, nor will anyone take my faith away (well, maybe the Mormons, but they keep on trying to take my soul now they accept that black people have souls - they didn't think we did before).
Sometimes, bad things get a group discount and all turn up at once. At those times, I think that I have been totally drained and have nothing left. Then I realise that I am truly blessed, and the blessing is the flip side of the curse I thought had wiped me out. One minus one is one.
I wonder how long I could survive on a blessing alone, but I have never had the chance to test it, fortunately. I was talking to a very special young woman today about something that has really worried me. She made the most sincere and absolute offer she could, I was already planning to do the same thing, but her offer touched me.
I feel so much better, simply because she has such a big heart, such courage and such generosity. She almost certainly didn't realise what her offer meant, she just felt it was necessary.
Never underestimate the kindness of strangers.
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Added on: 04/05/06 15:02
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I like to meet people in neutral territory before I bring them into my home. Equally, a client always has a chance to establish that he is comfortable with me that way. Nevertheless, in the past 15 months, I have only met three clients I felt uneasy with: one peed in my shower when he got back here and can be accurately classified as a very eccentric Englishman, the other was that guy who sold things and the third one was a guy I met today. He called me at 16:45, asked me whether Anal was included in the price, I explained that I dont charge extras. I gave him the address of the pub Id meet him in, and we agreed to meet at 17:30. I waited there until 17:45, and sent him a text when I left letting him know that Id warn people that he is a timewaster. He called and apologised, delivering a long, convoluted excuse. I went back and met him, he had ordered himself two drinks. He had so much luggage and baggage with him that I thought he was en route to the Antartic! Listening to him, I would have said talking to him, but he just bleated on like a coke-head. It was a tedious monologue, an utterly irrelevant stream of consciousness. He had explained that he had lost a packet of cigarettes on his way and would retrace his steps on his motorbike to find it. Then he changed his mind and decided to ask someone in the pub for one. I was feeling increasingly embarassed. Then the weirdo decided he wanted to ask me about what else I do when Im not seeing clients - as though I would tell someone I found seriously strange anything like that!
He kept on trying to tell me more about himself, his Ethiopian ex-girlfriend, the Polish ex-girlfriend and half the phonebook, in the misguided belief that would make me more open with him. I tried to get him to stop his monologue for a minute,and eventually, he did stop speaking for sixty glorious seconds. Unfortunately, he decided to take his cuddly toys out and put the head of the tigger toy into the groin of the green monster. I decided that I could not bear the thought of him being in my flat, nor was I going to have sex with him. I called a good friend of mine, another escort who agreed that seeing someone I was uncomfortable with would not be a good move, made my excuses and left.
He called me twice on my mobile. I explained that I could not see him because he was too damned weird. He said I was being very unfair - as though I have no right to decide who I do and dont see. I had not taken a penny from him, I had given him every chance to prove he could behave normally. A scruffily-dressed man, with about 4 scruffy pieces of luggage would be conspicious enough in my building - even if he were behaving normally. He says he will post a bad review of me on punternet. I look forward to reading it!
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Added on: 04/03/06 13:53
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This job can be so easy. A nice guy, lots of money and a mutual desire to have fun. Sometimes, I even get to have another girl along for even more pleasure. It also feels good when another escort asks me to help her get work and I can. It all feels good when I organise a booking with a client and make an arrangement with the other girl. I guess its pretty similar to how it feels for the client. To be fair, this was my third choice girl, but it still should have been fun.
Then on the morning, I tried calling to confirm and got no answer. The client was on his way, I started trying to find someone else. My enthusiasm gradually became stress and panic. The client arrives, this other escort is definately looking like a no-show, but I get an envelope containing both our fees. I cant describe the frustration of having to count out the money in two piles, knowing that Ill have to return one to him. I get annoyed when clients let me down. I hated having to cancel one regular client recently because Id been in a smoky club all evening and my sinuses were punishing me, but the client understood. It burns me even more when my lovely clients get let down by these unreliable escorts. <!--break--> If there is one good thing about this, its that I have more sympathy for clients who get let down.
Come back soon Gia!
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Added on: 03/27/06 09:45
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One of the toughest aspects of being an escort and posting anything on the internet is that strangers, whom you will probably never meet, decide that they know you and can then attempt to tell you how you are (I missed the God's obituary, and the reading of His will in which he must have bequeathed those people his power). One of their myths about me is that I am incredibly beautiful, have no insecurities whatsoever about my body and love using my perfect body to make the aesthetically challenged feel worse. Whatever else I do, I am still a woman, so I still have parts of my body I'm not completely happy with, but I'm generally comfortable in my skin.
Yesterday morning, I got a call from a new client. He was a tad nervous, so I set about relaxing him. Then he told me what he did for a living - let's just say it's a job I associate with perfect bodies - and I became terrified. I didn't say anything and tried to conceal my own nerves. He probably had the best physique of all my clients, but what surprised me was that he thought my body was sexy. You can't really analyse these things, but I think men's ideas about what makes a woman sexy are quite different from women's ideas.
If anyone can explain the difference, I'd be grateful. Now I'm off to get dressed!
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Added on: 03/17/06 04:39
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This can be the best job in the world. A lovely guy who calls, says hed like to spend a few hours with you - and a friend of yours. He turns up smelling wonderfully clean and fresh, pays you, and brings a good bottle of champagne. Gia (in the pucture - isn't she gorgeous?) and I had a lovely time, and the client seemed happy too. Sex, jokes, and way too much booze. Imagine getting paid for the warm-up to a night-out!
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Added on: 03/10/06 06:23
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From time to time, people call me and ask about my rates:
- Is Oral included?
- Is anal included?
- Are shower facilities and towels included?
- Is kissing included?
The answer to those questions is yes, but that is partially because I couldnt cope with adding on extras, or having a notepad by the bed to record each kiss etc.
Unfortunately, I have been judging other entities by my own standards. Imagine my surprise when I ask someone how much a big-ticket item is, they give me a price (which nearly gives me heart-failure), I send them payment, then they come back to me with a list of extras - Accessories, VAT, delivery. Having spoken to a few clients about this, it seems this is standard practice with civilian enterprises, which suprises me, because Escorts dont often come out looking like the best people to do business with.
Im actually proud of us escorts, or maybe the purse-ache is making me delirious!
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Added on: 03/06/06 09:40
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