November 2007
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Went to see the doc to get a flu shot and asked why I needed 1 every year. Seems the strains keep mutating so we need to keep getting the vacination. They tell you to take it easy but, in the Army they made us do push ups after vacinations, so I did some exercise and it felt fine.
A Hotwife,
The doc said I've gained 14lbs, Yea! She still wants me to gain more so it's pasta and potatos every night. I've even started eating bread. Yuck. After carrying a lunch pail for 25 yrs I was sick of bread but, now I'm eating toast, bacon, potatos and eggs for breakfast.
Who knows, if I join a gym I'll get my 19 in neck and 44 in chest back.
I know, dream on. LOL
I know I'm, definetly going to do some work outs before JJ and I go flying. That's hard as hell. But, it's fun.
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Current Mood: happy
Added on: 11/29/07 17:56
Comments (2)
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Your health, Your family. Your friends.
The place you have to live and the food on your table.
The people who have touched your lives and those you have touched.
Most of all, the fact you are alive.
There are many more but I know, you already know them.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and your familes, loved ones and friends, even those you don't know.
May the Lord Bless and Keep you all safe.
Love, Paul
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Current Mood: grateful
Added on: 11/21/07 10:41
Comments (1)
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Most people suffer from night mares and I wish I was one of you. I call the dreams I have terror mares and they are not the thing I usally share with people but, tonight, this one woke me up crying.
Most people are unaware that there are certian amusement parks, around the world, that have armed response units to react in the emergency there is a terrorist attacks at specific ones. I will not go into the details or name names but, I have participated in one.
I've been getting pissed of at a guy in my "Home Group" at the place I attend my AA meetings. This guy has, in the past few months, started saying that he was Lieutentant in the Army during the Vietnam war and has 156 confirmed kills and it pisses me off. He has also bragged that he has only a 3rd grade education, in the past. No Vet braggs about the number of people he has killed, it haunts us, we try to forget
When I joined the Army it was required that you have at least a High School Diploma or a General Equaloviency (?) Degree (a GED). Some of the things I am going to tell you I have only told my sponsor and no one else knows about it.
When I "graduated" from high school I did so a year early. I went to summer school the summer before I was a Freshman and continued to do so until the after the summer of my junior year and was entitle to graduate a year early. I did this so I could join the Army and go to Vietnam. I was afraid the war would be over before I would be old enough to go.
My family life was hell. My father was a paranoid schitzophrenic and a very violent man. I posted in my blog entitled "He wanted to be a tough guy" about a beating my father gave me, one time, which require to have my mother cut my clothes off me. When I was sent to see a Psychratist, after I was hit by a drunk driver at work, he wanted to know why I was so angry and told me to tell him about my child hood.
I did and he stopped me, because he was crying and told me, "You weren't abused, you were tortured." My father always told me I would be better off dead and the world would be a better place if I was dead. My older sister did the same. So, I joined the Army and voulenteered for Vietnam, not for 1 tour but for 2. I thought that if my death was the only thing that was going to make my family happy I was going to die in Vietnam. Believe me, I tried. I couldn't kill myself but, being killed in action was something I could do. When I was discharged and at my parents house my father said, "Why didn't you do us all a favor and get yourself killed this time?"
My father had served in the pacific with the Marines during the battle of Guadal Canal and The Soloman Islands. His father, a Virginia Military Institute graduate, was a career Army officer. His father was the 1st U.S. Marshall in the Terriorty of Texas and I had been an Eagle Boy Scout. I qualified for a Naval ROTC program and did a commitment just as any Reserve Officer, in the military would do actually, more.
Once a week I attended military training classes at a Navy base and 2 weeks of active duty training every summer. I have sailed on a mine sweeper from Long Beach to San Diego, on an old WWII diesel submarine (a pig boat) and did a 2 week voyage from Long Beach to Pearl Harbor on an Air Craft carrier. So when I joined the Army I was destined to become an Office, even though I didn't want to be one.
On my second tour I was a combat platoon leader and was "transferred" (kicked) out of the infantry and assigned to a Special Operations Group because I was too violent for the infantry. SOG's are not assigned to Infantry Battalions due to the nature of their opperations. I was assigned to a Support Battalion, remember, we were not supposed to exist.
The commanding office was some punk ass 22 yr old captian from the Quarter Master Corps, a fucking supply clerk. I was a 20 yr old LT. It was his goal in life to make me a "Real Soldier." Shine my boots, cut my hair and give him the respect his rank, not he, demanded. I thought he was a punk and let him know it. Being unable to bust me for anything more that being disrespectful and insuborinate he and his suck ass 1st Sergeant set me up to be busted for possesion of herion. I was Court Martialed and sentenced to 6 months of confinement and hard labor. I told my JAG attorney, a major, that before I did one day in jail I would kill both the captain and his snitch. The Major sent the Court Martial, on appeal, to the commanding general and the Court Martial was dismissed. I was discharged as a Pvt E-1, the lowest rank in the Army.
Now this guy goes around telling every one bull shit about being a Platoon Leader (a LT) in the Army claiming to have 156 confirmed kills. I told him that "White Feather", a Marine Corps sniper had only 132, which is true, the most prolific killer the U.S. military has ever produced. He served 5 tours. A confirmed kill means that some one other than you witnessed it. But this guy keeps up his bull shit. When ever I and some of the other vets start talking he runs up to us, like a puppy dog, and expects to be a part of our conversations. We don't include him in our conversations. I have told one of them about my building anger and I have told other people as well. I'm told to ignore him and to consider the source and I have tried to but I have been unsucessful. He knows I'm upset with him but he thinks it's because when he would come up to talk to me I would tell him to eat shit. He'd reply, "Well, piss on you." He thought I was joking but, his wife could tell other wise so he stopped saying that to me. Now he thinks every thing is great and I'm going to be his friend, again. The only thing I do to him is say hi and shake his hand, when he offers it.
I keep trying to have a talk with him about his "Military Career" and ask him general questions about his time in the Army and draw out his lie and tell him he is a liar and to stop claiming he is a Vet because I consider what he is doing an insult to me and every person who has ever served in the military. But, he avoids me after and before the meetings.
I'm pissed off at the Military for not letting me and a lot of other Vets re-enlist during the 1st Gulf War. We were too old, they said. We told them we only wanted to be training instructors, we were still denied.
I saw something on the news about how some Marines were killed in Iraq and got pissed off. These young men have no idea of how you fight a war, especially in a house to house environment and they are dying needlesly. I was fortunate to be trained by men who had served in WWII and Korea, these young people are being trained by people without any real knowledge of how to fight a war.
When they enter a building they use SWAT tatics not Military tatics, and it is getting them killed. The true fact of war is: kill or be killed. There are only two types of soldiers, "The quick and the dead." In a suspected hostile environment: shoot first, ask questions later. But, it's a kinder, gentler nation we live in. Colddel every one and let them get away with murder, sacrifice our young people because Congress wants to run the war the same way they did in Vietnam. This war is taking longer than WWII, the critics say. Well, Hell Yeah! The Allies bombed the shit out of Germany and most of Europe but now we're afraid of political fall out so we let the enemy have a place to hide. We don't destroy villages or towns or their factories as in WWII and with the rules of engagement, as they are, we're going to loose more people.
This is my terror mare.
I am taking part in one of these response senarrios and it is a live fire exercise. We are being shot at by men on the ground and by heliocopters, I'm part of the terrorist unit and we have hit our target and trying to escape we're picking up weapons and ammo from people on the ground. We've made it over this hill and across a bridge but we realize that our escape has been cut off so we make our way to some concret culverts (Huge drainage pipe) and ther we run into one of the units we are trying to evade. One young man confronts me and we beging to struggle and using a Judo technique of using your opponets strength against him I smash his weapon into his throat, crushing his wind pipe. Opperating on instinct, I kill him. Realizing what I have done I try to give him mouth to mouth ressucatation and medical treatment. His friends are yelling and sceaming at me and I keep trying to bring him back to llife. I can not and beging to cry, uncontrollably.
And that's how I wake up. Sobbing, my head aching and my neck in pain and I have been unable to get back to sleep. That was over 3 hrs ago and I haven't been able to call any one, yet, to talk to them about it, so I'm telling you in hopes that it will help me get over this terror mare and I can go back to sleep.
I appologize for this but, I had to get it out. I'm crying, again. I even went out and bought some cigaretts, it's been 3 months since I smoked one.
Thank you for listening.
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General Blog Category: Client's Experiences
Current Mood: scared
Added on: 11/14/07 09:06
Comments (5)
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I know that Jade4U has not been on the boards for a while so, I sent her an email to see how see is doing.
She relied she is doing well and only seeing a few regular clients at this time. She is spending the majority of her time taking care of the new baby, who is fat and happy and has started a new web site for posting blogs of "Serious" (?) providers and hobbyists.
Here is the web site address. She asked me to share it.
http://wweppp.invisioni.com
I tried to put this in as a URL but don't know how to do it.
I'm sure one other lady from Canada knows how to do this, so thank you in advance, dominiex
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Current Mood: cheerful
Added on: 11/10/07 01:54
Comments (5)
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Jade Tan posted a blog about getting Gardasil vaccinations and SexyTWO wrote a comment about it. I did some research and have posted an article about Gardasil. I got the info from the MERICK web site, the manufacturer, and posted it in an article.
I hope all the providers and hobbyists read it. A lot of good information to protect your health and what it won't prevent.
Keep safe.
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General Blog Category: Sex
Current Mood: accomplished
Added on: 11/09/07 20:08
Comments (2)
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My sister is home from the hospital and I am very relieved. She understood why I didn't go to visit her, although we talked on the phone every day. She thought it was because of all the operations I have had but, it is because I was worried about her being contagious.
She's weak and still running a fever and I am making her drink a quart of water every hour she is awake. I know that is one way to help bring it down and I open the windows and sliding glass ddoor for her to keep the cool. I freeze, but it's necessary to keep her tempature down.
The doctor lanced her infection site twice and the swelling is going down but she is still in a lot of pain. I am changing her dressing and wraping her arm in Cling wrap so she is able to shower. It is working out very well, her incision has not gotten wet once. I'm pretty proud of my idea, she was thinking of using a plastic bag. The cling wrap works wonderfully.
I'm not happy with the antibiotics they sent her home with. I don't think they're strong enough but, I have to realize that she suffers from Lupus and Dietabities and that limits they type of antibiotics she can take.
Thankfully, she can bathe and go to the bathroom with out any assistance. I'm cooking and cleaning for her and doing her laundry, which I don't mind doing.
She has complained of vomiting and I explained tp her: you can not take the medications you are without having some food in your stomache. Our older sister died from Alcohol and Drug abuse and the main reason was: she did not eat, properly, so her stomache and intestines were destroyed.
I told her that I was going to start cooking her meals with out any spices on them and she would start eating 3-4 times a day. She can not eat much, yet but, I'm working on that as well. I'm giving her plain oatmeal for breakfast, a sandwich with a little meat and a lot of vegs for lunch, and unseasoned meat and vegies for diner. I can deal wit the vegies but, I'm cooking the meat seperately.
Unseasoned chicken, UGH. I do not like chicken, it was our main meal on the farm.
I will be taking her to all her appointments and am going to be appointed her conservator. That way I will be able to have all her assets transfered into my name and then she will have no income and will qualify for medical assistance. We will set up a new and seperate bank account, in my name, but the debit card will be in her's. It legal, so we're going to do it.
This is going to be a lot of work but it is what needs to be done and I've learned that to get something from the govt, you need to know how to work the system. Fighting the VA has been good experience.
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General Blog Category: Relationships, Romance, Love
Current Mood: accomplished
Added on: 11/05/07 01:08
Comments (2)
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I'd like to wish every one a Happy Veteran's Day and Happy Thanksgiving.
I am going to be going wild turkey hunting next week, so I hope to be having fresh turkey for diner.
I am only going to post part of this news article here. The rest will be in the News and Politics section of the Forum.
Needless to say, it me, very, upset.
AP
Members of a fundamentalist Kansas church ordered to pay nearly $11 million in damages to a grieving father smiled as they walked out of the courtroom, vowing that the verdict would not deter them from protesting at military funerals.
Members promised to picket future funerals with placards bearing such slogans as "Thank God for dead soldiers" and "God hates fags."
The group believes that U.S. deaths in the Iraq war are punishment for the nation's tolerance of homosexuality. The say they are entitled to protest at funerals under the First Amendment, which guarantees freedom of speech and religion.
This makes me sick.
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General Blog Category: News and Politics
Current Mood: pissed off
Added on: 11/04/07 19:53
Comments (1)
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I've only slept about 8 hours in the last 72. My sister is still in the hospital and they don't know what type of infectio she has, yet. She is on IV Vancomycin treatments. It is the 3rd stongest antibiotic made and she doesn't have medical insurance.
The 1st time she was hospitalized for her heart problems, the bill for 30 hrs was $18,000. Now it's been 48 hrs and no word from the doctor when she will be released.
I had a spinal infection after my back was injuried and under went IV Vancomycin treatment for 30 days. The doctor's never learned what type of infection I had. Thank God, it was a worker's comp injury because the Vacomycin treatments alone were over $750,000. That's not including the 9 days in the hospital, the two surgeries I under went to discover the infection or the home care that I had to be given.
And my sister doesn't have insurance.
There is a wonderful woman at the clinic who is helping me to get assistance for my sister and is helping fill out forms for a local charity organization that will pay hospital bill for people with out money or insurance. I guess I know an organization that is going to end up in my Living Trust. Forget my son and niece, these people are helping keep my sister alive.
I've been all over this web site for the past 2 days and I apologize for that but, this is the only thing that is keeping from breaking down and crying or going crazy.
I went to an AA meeting last night and "chaired" the meeting. I was asked to come to one tonight and "chair" and different meeting. "Chairing" means I am the speaker at the meeting.
People say that I am an inspiration to them, why I don't know. But last night a freind told me it was not what I had accomplished while I have been sober but, what I have endured and have not had to drink over it.
He's right. I tell people: If I can get sober, you can get sober.
We talk about our last drink, so we don't forget where we came from. Well, I didn't have a last drink. I was they type of alcoholic that use alcohol like a drug. I used it IV. Talk about an easy way to kill your self, doctors and nurses say I'm a miricale.
I'm just me. Nothing more.
A lot of you, on this site, have become a very important part of my life, even if you don't know it. I appericate you, your comments, your posts and blogs.
God Bless you all and keep you safe.
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Added on: 11/02/07 15:51
Comments (2)
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Although I'm tired and beat and worried about my sister. Today, is the day that I celebrate 25 yrs of being a member of Alcholics Anonymous. That is one year longer than I was a drunk.
I've been having problems with this because I have be doubting the quality of my sobriety and wondering if I should just accept a one year token instead of a 25 yr token.
I feel like I was a drunk for 24 yrs and now I've be sober for 24 and now that it's my 25th yr of sobriety, shouldn't I just be celebrating 1 yr?
Doesn't the 24 yrs of sobriety just make up of the 24 yrs of using? So aren't I, really, only sober for 1 yr.
The crap we put our selves through when we are tired and worried about family members drives me crazy.
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Current Mood: exhausted
Added on: 11/01/07 12:26
Comments (4)
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The spider bite has turned out to be a Resistant Staphylococus Aureus infection. My sister has been hospitalized and I'm worried. She was doing so well and now to be back in the hospital is just dishearting.
Things were looking good and she seemed to be doing so well. I just want to cry.
I know the only thing I can do is pray and hope that the Docs will do all they can and give her the best care but, I'm still worried.
Please, folks, I know I post a lot of stuff about these super bugs, take the time to read them. Some one you know or love could be next.
It's my baby sister.
God bless you and keep you safe.
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Current Mood: crushed
Added on: 11/01/07 02:17
Comments (3)
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